Once Garrett was able to leave the nursery, we left the hospital for lunch and to allow BM and her family to see him. I couldn't wait to get back to him, so we ate quickly. When we arrived back at the hospital, we were given a tiny room in the NICU. Garrett wasn't in need of the NICU, but the hospital was full and this was simply the only place they had for us. As we waited for him to be brought to us, Rick and I talked excitedly about our new baby, but our conversation was interrupted by Rick's cell phone. Long story short, as I held Garrett, Rick talked to our realtor to learn that our CO home had just sold, as it had been on the market since Christmas for our impending move to TX. Imagine that, our house sold on the same day of Garrett's birth! That definitely felt surreal!
We spent the next two days in and out of the hospital spending time with Garrett. The moment of truth finally arrived on Friday, February 4th. If BM truly wanted us to parent her baby, she had to sign relinquishment papers before leaving the hospital. It was a nerve-racking time for everyone. BM asked to see Garrett one more time, and I fell apart. I knew that she needed to see him, and I wanted her to see him, but I had a hard time trusting that she would follow through. It seemed like an hour passed, but it was probably only a few minutes before she asked to see us.
My heart pounded in my chest, as I walked into her room to find her holding him with tears rolling down her cheeks. I hugged her, and I said, "I'm sorry this hurts so much." She combed his hair and kissed him and then said, "Are you ready to take him?" With tears streaming down my face and a catch in my voice, I said, "I'm ready to take him, if you're ready for me to take him." She handed him to me. I hugged her again and said, "I'm sorry this hurts so much, but I thank you for giving me such joy in completing my family. And we will tell him about you. We'll never forget you, because he looks just like you." And I meant every word of it! She was and is the true picture of a birth mom...the heart break was evident, yet she knew that he needed more than she could give him.
I haven't seen or heard from BM since that day. Her sister and I occasionally email each other, and I'm grateful to have that contact with Garrett's birth family.
Over the last two years, I have grown to love Garrett more every day, as any other mother would. He is what we all call "my child". He's so much like me that my mom swears he somehow received my DNA. If he's happy, his giggle makes the world go 'round. If he's sad, look out! Yet he's extremely loving! He's bright, speaking in full sentences for a while already. He loves music. And he's my go-go man, always looking for a ride around town. He's a leftie; I always wanted a leftie!
If we had gotten Jack "on time", at birth, we would never have been open to adopting Garrett. God knew exactly what He was doing, when He took Jack away from us. He knew that we needed Garrett, too. And I am so glad that He worked that plan into my life.
Oh, Garrett, you know that I love you!