As I mentioned yesterday, I was able to take care of Garrett immediately following his birth. Rick was on the outside of the glass wall taking photos and videos. He said it was surreal to watch me take care of our baby, while the birth family stood next to him. They were so gracious to give us those first few moments. Because Garrett was not technically ours yet, they could have shut us out, but instead, they insisted that I have that time with Baby G. I later thanked them for that time, but I don't think my words did my feelings any justice.
Once Garrett was able to leave the nursery, we left the hospital for lunch and to allow BM and her family to see him. I couldn't wait to get back to him, so we ate quickly. When we arrived back at the hospital, we were given a tiny room in the NICU. Garrett wasn't in need of the NICU, but the hospital was full and this was simply the only place they had for us. As we waited for him to be brought to us, Rick and I talked excitedly about our new baby, but our conversation was interrupted by Rick's cell phone. Long story short, as I held Garrett, Rick talked to our realtor to learn that our CO home had just sold, as it had been on the market since Christmas for our impending move to TX. Imagine that, our house sold on the same day of Garrett's birth! That definitely felt surreal!
We spent the next two days in and out of the hospital spending time with Garrett. The moment of truth finally arrived on Friday, February 4th. If BM truly wanted us to parent her baby, she had to sign relinquishment papers before leaving the hospital. It was a nerve-racking time for everyone. BM asked to see Garrett one more time, and I fell apart. I knew that she needed to see him, and I wanted her to see him, but I had a hard time trusting that she would follow through. It seemed like an hour passed, but it was probably only a few minutes before she asked to see us.
My heart pounded in my chest, as I walked into her room to find her holding him with tears rolling down her cheeks. I hugged her, and I said, "I'm sorry this hurts so much." She combed his hair and kissed him and then said, "Are you ready to take him?" With tears streaming down my face and a catch in my voice, I said, "I'm ready to take him, if you're ready for me to take him." She handed him to me. I hugged her again and said, "I'm sorry this hurts so much, but I thank you for giving me such joy in completing my family. And we will tell him about you. We'll never forget you, because he looks just like you." And I meant every word of it! She was and is the true picture of a birth mom...the heart break was evident, yet she knew that he needed more than she could give him.
I haven't seen or heard from BM since that day. Her sister and I occasionally email each other, and I'm grateful to have that contact with Garrett's birth family.
Over the last two years, I have grown to love Garrett more every day, as any other mother would. He is what we all call "my child". He's so much like me that my mom swears he somehow received my DNA. If he's happy, his giggle makes the world go 'round. If he's sad, look out! Yet he's extremely loving! He's bright, speaking in full sentences for a while already. He loves music. And he's my go-go man, always looking for a ride around town. He's a leftie; I always wanted a leftie!
If we had gotten Jack "on time", at birth, we would never have been open to adopting Garrett. God knew exactly what He was doing, when He took Jack away from us. He knew that we needed Garrett, too. And I am so glad that He worked that plan into my life.
Oh, Garrett, you know that I love you!
Once Garrett was able to leave the nursery, we left the hospital for lunch and to allow BM and her family to see him. I couldn't wait to get back to him, so we ate quickly. When we arrived back at the hospital, we were given a tiny room in the NICU. Garrett wasn't in need of the NICU, but the hospital was full and this was simply the only place they had for us. As we waited for him to be brought to us, Rick and I talked excitedly about our new baby, but our conversation was interrupted by Rick's cell phone. Long story short, as I held Garrett, Rick talked to our realtor to learn that our CO home had just sold, as it had been on the market since Christmas for our impending move to TX. Imagine that, our house sold on the same day of Garrett's birth! That definitely felt surreal!
We spent the next two days in and out of the hospital spending time with Garrett. The moment of truth finally arrived on Friday, February 4th. If BM truly wanted us to parent her baby, she had to sign relinquishment papers before leaving the hospital. It was a nerve-racking time for everyone. BM asked to see Garrett one more time, and I fell apart. I knew that she needed to see him, and I wanted her to see him, but I had a hard time trusting that she would follow through. It seemed like an hour passed, but it was probably only a few minutes before she asked to see us.
My heart pounded in my chest, as I walked into her room to find her holding him with tears rolling down her cheeks. I hugged her, and I said, "I'm sorry this hurts so much." She combed his hair and kissed him and then said, "Are you ready to take him?" With tears streaming down my face and a catch in my voice, I said, "I'm ready to take him, if you're ready for me to take him." She handed him to me. I hugged her again and said, "I'm sorry this hurts so much, but I thank you for giving me such joy in completing my family. And we will tell him about you. We'll never forget you, because he looks just like you." And I meant every word of it! She was and is the true picture of a birth mom...the heart break was evident, yet she knew that he needed more than she could give him.
I haven't seen or heard from BM since that day. Her sister and I occasionally email each other, and I'm grateful to have that contact with Garrett's birth family.
Over the last two years, I have grown to love Garrett more every day, as any other mother would. He is what we all call "my child". He's so much like me that my mom swears he somehow received my DNA. If he's happy, his giggle makes the world go 'round. If he's sad, look out! Yet he's extremely loving! He's bright, speaking in full sentences for a while already. He loves music. And he's my go-go man, always looking for a ride around town. He's a leftie; I always wanted a leftie!
If we had gotten Jack "on time", at birth, we would never have been open to adopting Garrett. God knew exactly what He was doing, when He took Jack away from us. He knew that we needed Garrett, too. And I am so glad that He worked that plan into my life.
Oh, Garrett, you know that I love you! Happy Birthday, love bug!
6 comments:
Ami, that is such a beautiful story!
Ami, I found your site through my site meter--I've read through Garrett's and Jack's adoption stories--amazing! Happy birthday to your beautiful boy :)
Thank you so much for stopping by and reading my 100 things. I really enjoyed reading your posts today! I will come back and read Jack's story soon. Your adoption story is so touching! Garrett is so lucky to have such an appreciative and loving Mom. Your blog title is so fitting!
I just wanted to know how absolutely beautiful your tales of adoption are. My ex-husband and i struggled with infertility and he was never open to the adoption idea (yet another reason why an ex). My boyfriend and I have spoken about it and he is open to the idea if we suffer the same problems. I will share your stories with him, if you don't mind. You and your husband are amazing people. God has blessed you, your husband, and most especially - those beautiful little ones!
Ami, I read your comment on Jennifer Scott's blog and came to read about you. What beautiful adoption stories. God sure had HIS timing in mind.
We are also adoptive parents of 3 children, in addition to our birth children. Carly is 5 months older than Wesley and Wes is 5 months older than Ryan. It does make for some interesting times!
Your post about your son telling you he loved you really touched my heart. I remember the first time Ryan reached up to hol dmy hand voluntarily. And the first time he said I love You, without being coaxed. Those memories are seared into my mind and my heart.
Enjoy your boys. They are precious.
Ami,
I work for BOPCO, same as your husband, except I'm in the El Campo office (we're SW of Houston). He sent me the link to your blog as he mentioned that y'all had adopted because... well, you know. My husband and I have a similar problem and will not be blessed with our own. I read several of your blog postings, and I read every one of your adoptions stories. You have a beautiful family and an amazing faith. Your stories touched my heart. I hope that God continues to bless you, Rick, and each of your boys. God obviously knew that you were meant to be a mother. Angela
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